Week 1 Power Rankings. Because You Know You Want It

Last October, I quit my job. I worked at Fastenal as the general manager of their San Leandro store, and it was ruining my life. Instantaneously, I was a happier person. But before long, I grew excruciatingly bored. So I did what any unemployed 25-year-old man would do: in a moment of unhearalded nerditude, I created (with the help, grudgingly, of The GF) my own formula for ranking NFL teams. In some ways, I am a sad person. Rather than try to fight this staggering dorkiness, I'm just going to go with it until my underwear slowly begin to wedge themselves up my ass and I scramble out and buy a pocket protector.

I like football way too much.

The following rankings are how they finished last year and have nothing to do with this year:

	LAST_WEEK	RECORD	RANKINGS_INDEX
1	N/A	0-0	.9901
2	N/A	0-0	.8356
3	N/A	0-0	.7605
4	N/A	0-0	.7523
5	N/A	0-0	.7216
6	N/A	0-0	.6949
7	N/A	0-0	.6772
8	N/A	0-0	.6528
9	N/A	0-0	.6496
10	N/A	0-0	.6038
11	N/A	0-0	.6023
12	N/A	0-0	.6017
13	N/A	0-0	.6013
14	N/A	0-0	.5581
15	N/A	0-0	.5288
16	N/A	0-0	.5102
17	N/A	0-0	.4967
18	N/A	0-0	.4798
19	N/A	0-0	.4717
20	N/A	0-0	.4466
21	N/A	0-0	.4326
22	N/A	0-0	.4288
23	N/A	0-0	.4007
24	N/A	0-0	.3641
25	N/A	0-0	.3630
26	N/A	0-0	.3610
27	N/A	0-0	.3556
28	N/A	0-0	.3235
29	N/A	0-0	.2802
30	N/A	0-0	.2798
31	N/A	0-0	.2572
32	N/A	0-0	.2217