The GF is Pissed

And now, a fantasy football message from the GF.

I get how it is. I'm the gf that was suckered into playing fantasy so that Jamo could get away with feeding his football obsession. I understand that I'm *supposed* to come in last place in the fantasy league, especially my first season playing, because it would be completely humiliating for any guy in the league to have lost to me when I knew absolutely nothing about football. The truth is, that while Tommy was playing guys on bye weeks and still beating me in match ups, I was working my ass off keeping up with all kinds of football news I never knew existed and getting completely screwed.

Here's evidence.

A line up from my previous roster, and the average number of points each scored per game last season:

QB: Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) - 16
RB: Reggie Bush (NO) - 11
RB: Thomas Jones (NYJ) - 9
RB/WR: Jerrico Cotchery (NYJ) - 8
WR: Dwayne Bowe (KC) - 8
WR: Hines Ward (PIT) - 7
TE: Todd Heap (BAL) - 3
K: Jeff Reed (PIT) - 7
Total: 69

Here are how those same players performed yesterday:
QB: Ben Roethlisberger (PIT) - 12
RB: Reggie Bush (NO) - 25
RB: Thomas Jones (NYJ) - 18
RB/WR: Jerrico Cotchery (NYJ) - 16
WR: Dwayne Bowe (KC) - 10
WR: Hines Ward (PIT) - 19
TE: Todd Heap (BAL) - -2
K: Jeff Reed (PIT) - 9
Total: 107

Okay, so Todd Heap is completely useless and Ben was amazingly efficient yesterday (plus Willie was killing it out there). Also, Jeff Reed is solid and consistent -- not much changing on that front. If we don't factor those guys in, the total points from last year's average is 43, and total points from yesterday is 88. 45 more points out of those guys!!

Clearly I have not hammered this point into the ground enough.

Jerricho Cotchery only caught 2 touchdowns in the entire season last year, and caught one yesterday (thank you, Brett Favre). I'm over it.

Reggie Bush, my "star" running back from last year, couldn't manage to break 100 yards carrying in any game last year. He was my SECOND draft pick, and only caught FOUR touchdowns in the entire season. Yesterday, however, he finds it in his heart to hook it up for Zhi "auto draft" Qiao, who of course had him on the bench because why would you ever play that guy? Yesterday Reggie rushed for 51 yards today and had eight receptions for 112 yards and a touchdown, folks. 25 fantasy points, which is more points than he scored during any game last year. This one, my friends, I may never ever get over.

Thomas Jones was also a member of my running back hell last year, dropping the old singleton touchdown for the season which was so popular on my roster last year. He opened the season with 101 yards and a touchdown, which sets chances up nicely for him taking care of Dr Funke much better than he ever took care of me.

And then there's Hines, who I could never be mad at for scoring 2 tds in one game -- but come on -- where was this action last year?

Like I said, I knew I was supposed to come in last place last year, and I'm cool with it. I just want you all to know about how the battle I'm fighting -- the fantasy gods are definitely out against me. They're not going to get away with so easy this year, though. This time I'm ready for them!