2008 Predictions

It's hard to create a good explanation for these predictions. The numerous variables that I am simply too lazy/stupid to consider will invariably set these predictions apart from the "good" or "accurate" predictions that you have grown so accustomed to seeing. Wait a minute. Oh, that's right, nobody EVER GETS ANY PREDICTIONS RIGHT ANYWAY. At least not with the level of consistency one would need to in order to be considered good at predicting things.

When doing these, the process was as painstakingly simple as it was painstakingly long. I went through every single game and predicted the outcome. That's 32 teams multiplied by 17 games, which equals 544 unique predictions, each of which I am uniquely unqualified to make. I would look at games and either say, "Really, there's no way these guys could beat these guys. It just can't happen," or, "I don't have any idea. Let's just pick the home team." I employed the latter strategy more frequently than the former, as I find it hard to shake the memory of last year's San Diego Chargers, who somehow started 1-3 by squeaking past the Bears, then getting mauled by the Packers, Chargers, and Chiefs (!). And remember that Monday night game when the Bills had the Cowboys buried in the 3rd quarter and they lost? The Ravens nearly beat the Patriots! These thoughts invade the mind. Plus, I realized how hard it is to win on the road in the NFL. In Len Pasquarelli's 2006 NFL preview for ESPN, he noted that the Steelers had the best road winning percentage from 1996 through 2005 at .550.

When I pieced these predictions together a few weeks ago, many things were different. Derek Anderson hadn't recently suffered a concussion. Osi Umenyiora wasn't going to miss the season. Chad Johnson didn't have a torn labrum. Steven Jackson didn't have a contract. Shawne Merriman wasn't even injured, let alone seeking a fourth opinion on his shredded knee. This list goes on. Clearly I am mentioning these things so I have excuses to fall back on in January.

So, with all the mediocrity my Penn State education can muster, your 2008 NFL predictions:

AFC NORTH
Pittsburgh (11-5)
Cleveland (10-6)
Cincinnati (5-11)
Baltimore (3-13)

AFC SOUTH
Indianapolis (14-2)
Jacksonville (13-3)
Tennessee (9-7)
Houston (5-11)

AFC EAST
New England (14-2)
New York (10-6)
Buffalo (8-8)
Miami (2-14)

AFC WEST
San Diego (15-1)
Denver (6-10)
Oakland (5-11)
Kansas City (4-12)

NFC NORTH
Green Bay (8-8)
Minnesota (8-8)
Chicago (5-11)
Detroit (4-12)

NFC SOUTH
New Orleans (12-4)
Tampa Bay (8-8)
Carolina (7-9)
Atlanta (3-13)

NFC EAST
Dallas (13-3)
New York (11-5)
Philadelphia (11-5)
Washington (6-10)

NFC WEST
Seattle (9-7)
Arizona (7-9)
St. Louis (6-10)
San Francisco (4-12)

Which makes your playoff teams in the AFC look like:

1) San Diego
2) Indianapolis
3) New England
4) Pittsburgh
5) Jacksonville
6) Cleveland

And in the NFC:

1) Dallas
2) New Orleans
3) Seattle
4) Green Bay
5) New York
6) Philadelphia

AFC Wild Card:

3) New England d. 6) Cleveland

4) Pittsburgh d. 5) Jacksonville

NFC WIld Card:

6) Philadelphia d. 3) Seattle

5) New York d. 4) Green Bay

AFC Divisional:

1) San Diego d. 4) Pittsburgh

3) New England d. 2) Indianapolis

NFC Divisional:

1) Dallas d. 6) Philadelphia

2) New Orleans d. 5) New York

AFC Championship:

3) New England d. 1) San Diego

NFC Championship:

1) Dallas d. 2) New Orleans

Super Bowl

New England d. Dallas